This year there we have had snow... twice, and the first time was on Halloween... which in my mind doesn't count. This morning I awoke to the beautiful sight of the branches of the trees glistening from layers of snow on them. The first thing Anna Grace said, "Mommy, let's go play in the snow." Of course I bundled her up, and sent her out in her snow suit with sled in hand. I just wish I would have had a snow day with her.

To new beginnings...

Wow... it's been so long since I have written here. It is amazing how time passes, but yet I find myself being so impatient about the future sometimes. Life has moved forward in so many ways since I last wrote. Something I have discovered about myself is my true love for writing, it makes me calm and content in myself. I am going to try to write here more often, more regularly, so that feeling will stay with me longer.

"Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will, too..." ~ Hope Floats

To new beginnings... let's start with this blog.

Shenandoah Pizza and Good Girl Time

Here in the Shenandoah Valley, I truly believe that some of the best kept food secrets live. Tonight, I am so excited to go eat at one of my favorite restuarants in downtown Staunton.... Shenandoah Pizza ~ so delicious!

Moving back to the valley has been a difficult transition for me at times. I have always been a 'social butterfly' so to speak. I thrive on the company of others, and one ascept of my life I miss the most is entertaining my friends in my home.... something I used to do on a weekly basis.

Making friends here has been a long transition as well. The truth is, I didn't live here long enough in my younger years to make the lasting friendships that most people have here in the valley.... and that makes me sad often. Don't get me wrong, I have some really fantastic friends here, but only enough to count on one hand... and with their lives being so busy it can sometimes be difficult to get together.....

Tonight, I am fortunate enough to be able to go to dinner with some lovely ladies. And I will relish every minute of the juicy, funny, lovable gossip we will share. Bring on the pizza and girl time... it is much needed tonight!

Thinking on a Tuesday, Should that be Allowed?

More and more these days I am discovering that life is never what you expect, and possibly always what you expect. Sometimes our plate is full, other times we bite off more than we can chew, and there are those occasions when our plate becomes empty... it's filling it back up that brings the challenge.

My plate right now, you ask, what does it look like? I have always had the "bite off more than you can chew" mentality. Leave it to me to put enough busy work on myself that I am forced to NOT think about the contents of my plate, or lack there of. Several years ago, I had an eye-opening experience, showing me that being a busy bee is not the road to filling up my plate. Unfortunately, sometimes I slip.

I have slipped a little recently. Trying to have enough busy work so that I don't have to think about the contents of my plate. This blog often makes me think about the contents of my plate... and sadly if you are reading my blog, you can very plainly depict when I have the feeling that my plate is full and when I am feeling like my plate is bare.

So when I'm not updating my blog... it's because I am being my busy bee self so that I don't have to think about my plate. So I leave you with this feeling of what I am so very hard trying to do:


Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause it's all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you stand.

On blog is a way to show the world my journey to stand.

My Journey to Fashion...

It maybe has never been a secret that I have not an ounce of fashion sense inside of my body... Yes, I am a woman and I am suppose to have fashion sense but I was not blessed with it. I have prayed for years that someone would be kind enough to just nominate me for What Not To Wear... okay, don't do that. I think I would die from humiliation.

With the recent events that have occurred in my life, my entire view of myself has changed. I have truly begun to love myself. In years past, I have very infrequently (to never) had a shopping day just for me. I never bought myself clothes or shoes, quite frankly my mind set was that I shouldn't do for myself when I have a child and a husband to do for.

Lesson #565 on the road to redefining Beth: You must first love yourself, and provide for yourself before anyone else can feel your love.

My solution to Lesson number #565... begin to love myself, and to provide for myself as well. This in no way means that I have slacked off on what I am providing for AGB.. she will never do without, that is a given. But I have started to do little things for myself. I do make sure that what I purchase for me is always on sale... it makes me feel a little better, and I don't make it a daily habit for the benefit of my bank account.

My first purchase for me was a pair of Sperry's Top-Siders... Oh, how wonderful they are, and how I have always wanted a pair. THEN:

TA-DA!!!!!

I am SO excited about this dress. It is in the mail as we speak... along with these Merrills I found on sale.... AAAHHHHH... I may be getting a sense for fashion after all.

My favorite online sites to shop these days you ask? Check them out for yourself... I have not been disappointed yet. Let's hope it stays that way :D

www.6pm.com
www.modcloth.com

Spring Break!

Today I returned to work from a much needed week off. A week off where my daily tasks were to determine what it was that I wanted to do. I had no schedule and only made the plans that I wanted. That was bizarre....... Since when do I do things for myself?

So what did a week in The Life of What Beth Wanted To Do consist of?

Monday :
Painting a martini glass in preparation to celebrate Saint Patricks Day.

Tuesday :
I cleaned, and cleaned, and washed clothes... only because I wanted to.

Wednesday :
A bubble bath... with a glass of wine... on a rainy day = Total Bliss!

Thursday :
Shopping Therapy at Kohl's.... AAHHH, lunch with a dear friend and a night out. Much needed and very fun :D

Friday :
A house to myself = Watching movies all day

Saturday :
Visiting my sister and family in NOVA... A day at Harpers Ferry and homemade ice cream at a local dairy... Delicious!

Sunday :
Driving home.. Riding the pony with AGB and a late night movie... the movie was awful.. but it made for a good laugh!

Of course during my days of spring break I was able to emerge myself in what it is that I really wanted to do. It's interesting because I sometimes feel guilty doing these things. I feel like I should make every moment of my life about AGB sometimes... and I shouldn't feel that way, which makes me feel even more guilty.... Oh what a double edge sword!

I am slowly beginning to learn Lesson #454 :
You have to love and like yourself first, which means sometimes it's okay to do things for you.

I have grown so much in the last years of my life. This may be one of the hardest lessons I have had to learn.

In a blink of an eye....

Today I have been thinking a lot about time... how time doesn't exist in anything and how time exist in everything. How has it moved so quickly, without me even realizing that it is moving. I don't "feel" like I have aged, I don't "feel" like time has passed... but the pictures below are the evidence that time is moving.

AGB's 2nd Birthday Party

The summer of she was 2...

Just turned 3.....

The summer she was 3....

And she's 4....

We live in years.... the years of our lives when we are young seem to crawl... but then we become adults and have children. We begin to live in years of their growth and their mildstones.... We live for learning to crawl, then walk and talk, then read and write, then good grades and playing sports, then graduations and pursuing happiness. I know, I know.. she's four.... but I will blink my eyes and she will have grown up right in front of me. My baby has now lost her baby face and knows how to write her name... and mine.

Bittersweet... blinking your eyes.

Naturally....

Any time that I am feeling under the beaten path, and not traveling on it... I look to this beauty. Wednesdays are difficult, as I don't get done with lessons until 6:00 p.m.... meaning I can't pick AGB up from school and I get limited time with her.

Every week I try to do something with AGB that is special for the two of us. Sometimes it involves just going to dinner, or ice cream. Sometimes we do art projects, or it may be that we read five books before we go to bed.

This evening, AGB came running through the house with her Stepping Stones box... Yep, one of those make it yourself out of pour and mix with gems and glitter and every color paint you could imagine. I would have avoided this so involved project at the peak of bed time this evening.. but her baby blue eyes and golden smile and excitement that only a child can obtain got the best of me. And the best part was that when asked to get in the bath and dry her hair and put on her pajama's all previous to her finding her Stepping Stone box, she did it ALL with no fuss and the first time I had asked. There was no denying this project tonight.

Currently, the stone is setting up. And I am sure that I will not hear the end of it until we paint the stone every color of the rainbow, however, it was just the extra minute of time that I needed tonight with my angel here on earth. It was worth the ten minutes late to bed time.

So naturally, she is what brings a smile to my face every day.

A Road to Nationals...

Coaching and horses is in my blood the way swimming comes naturally to a dolphin. When I first began riding at my alma mater, Virginia Tech, one of the first things my coach, T (Teresa) McDonald asked me was "What do you want to do when you graduate?" My response.... "I want to coach college equestrian." I fondly remember that she laughed.

With the determination of an ox, I began my path to coaching. Every job I have held along the way of my career has brought it's own forms of success, challenges, frustrations, pride, and stress. What I thrive on the most is to see the utter excitement and sence of accomplishment that my riders have when they succeed. Proud barely begins to describe how I feel when this happens.

This season, our BC equestrian team has clenched the Regional Championship... what does this mean? We will be competing in the Zone Championships with the possiblity of continuing our quest to the IHSA National Championship hosted at the Kentucky Horse Park in May.

I wanted to post this to take the opportunity to announce how proud I am of our riders and program at BC. The students have worked tremendously hard and are so deserving of this accomplish.

On April 10th, everyone throw up a wish and watch our BC riders take us on the road to Kentucky!

Sundays are a day of worship...

Religion has been in the forefront of battle since the beginning of time, and will be until the end of mankind. We each have our own unique relationship with God... Allah... Zeus... whomever it is that we decide is our own maker. For me, my relationship with God is in development, and I feel that as long as I am on the path with him I am heading in the right direction. This post is not to push a view on anyone... just a post of my own path with God.

"Man is neither entirely a puppet of the Gods, nor is he entirely the captain of his own destiny; he's a little of both"

It has truly come to my attention in recent months how true this statement rings. Without going into grave detail, and I make this statement with reservations, this is not the first time in my marriage that there has been a separation. I think about that a lot.... Why is it that my marriage was mended once just to fall apart again? What if the outcome would have been different 3 years ago? Where would I be in my life now? I ask God these questions frequently. The truth is though, it was a choice 3 years ago, and God knew what choices were to be made.

"We gallop through our lives like circus performers balancing on two speeding side-by-side horses - one foot is on the horse called "fate," the other on the horse called "free will."

The above mentioned brings me to a place of utter confusion. I will never point fault in my blog, and know that I have not here before. I know that no one person can interfere with an other's free will... no amount of love, no amount of trust, no amount of support, no amount of effort (or lack there of to any of the fore mentioned) can ever MAKE someone do anything. So we are stuck in a balancing act in our lives... What will be allow to be our fate and what will we make our free will?

"If faith were rational, it wouldn't be - by definition - faith. Faith is belief in what you cannot see or prove or touch. Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark. If we truly knew all the answers in advance as to the meaning of life and the nature of God and the destiny of our souls, our belief would not be a leap of faith and it would not be a courageous act of humanity; it would just be... a prudent insurance policy."

This brings me back to God. I have had many conversations with him on all of the above mentioned. What I have learned is it is okay for me at ask him "Why?," because I may just get an answer. You never expect the enormously crazy things people will say to you in an effort to comfort you in times of crisis. I don't want to hear "You're better off," or "It'll get better." I want answers. I certainly understand that those answers may not come in the form of words, but in the form of life... and what my life will have in store.

So on this day of worship... I look to God and pray for many things. He may not answer all of my prayers, but I do know He is listening.