When You Get the Choice to Sit it Out or Dance...

ABG at her first Dance class this summer

As a mother many times I have wondered how it is possible to fit one more item onto the calendar. How can I possibly do everything I want to in the day? Especially with an extremely active 4 year old. I am for all intensive purposes career driven, but that strong focus has taken me away so many times from enjoying the extracurricular activities I know AGB so dearly enjoys.

This summer AGB participated in dance for the first time. She was so passionately excited. Each day she went to dance, participating in every activity that Mrs. Kim set in front of her. On the day of the recital I came to the studio, and AGB affectionately did.... NOTHING she was suppose to. I was devastated to say the least. It was the one day that I had forced myself to pull away to be there and disappointed that the day I was there to watch, I saw very little.

Today I had an opportunity to not only witness AGB in full swing of a dance class, but I also participated. Through her pre-school we received an invitation to come to the mall for a FREE children ZumbAtomic class.. My response, "YES, LET'S!"

Recently AGB has displayed a passion for being shy. Something that is very unusual as we can all agree to! My initial response to taking her to ZumbAtomic was that I would sit quietly and watch on the side lines, as usual with my cell phone in my hand. Little did I know, AGB would employ me to be her partner in crime ... to dance and swing and giggle because she was just too shy to go it alone. I was forced to let loose, to put the cell phone down (I know, I know, there is video and pictures, but would you expect anything less?) and DANCE. Maybe I didn't swing my hips as energtically as I could have, maybe I didn't jump as high as I am able, but I enjoyed an hour of just gazing at a child who truly makes me joyful. It took her a while to get warmed up, but by the end I couldn't get her to stop. I hope you all enjoy the pictures and short video I was able to capture. And my deepest prayer is that AGB continues to ALWAYS DANCE whenever given the choice.

Remember for a day or a lifetime?

This is a very powerful question for me today. How do we chose what to remember for one day and what we never forget for a lifetime? Is there a rythme or reason for how our brains store the most compelling events that happen in our daily lifes? Can I reprogram mine... especially today?

For all of you Grey's Anatomy fans out there last night was an extremely compelling episode forcing me to ask myself just that question both last night and today. Last night's episode for me took me back to the tragic event of April 16, 2007 at my alma mater, Virginia Tech. Every Hokie and every human being in the world felt a clinching blow that day, and watching the Grey's Anatomy episode last night made some of my memories from that horrific time flood back to me as well. The only difference in the real life and the pretend was that the characters in the pretend had the miraculous hands to safe all of the victims from that horrible event, something that we sadly cannot say about our friends from the Virginia Tech massacre.....

So what did this mean to me? It meant thanking God right then and there as I watched the TV screen flood my memory that I have this life. This life to share with all of my loved ones. It also meant remembering. Sure, I think about April 16th, 2007, but I don't remember that event as I should. I pray for the families of every victim from that day on each anniversary of the shooting, but I should pray for them more. I should hold that day in my memory, right on the surface to help me remember to be thankful for everything I have, because it could all be taken away from me tomorrow.

This compelling question of memory also comes at a difficult time for me today. As extremely hard as it is for me to actually write these words down... today is my wedding anniversary. I tried to promise myself that I wouldn't cry, but as I write the tears are flowing. My life has taken turns that Inever expected it would take, and today I can't help but allow those memories to hold on to me like a child clutches their blanket. I do recognize that my life will by great... is great, but my sadness of losing my marriage continues to hold on to me. Do I feel this way today because of the actual day that it is? Will I feel this way next January 7th? Will I remember this sadness on January 7th for a lifetime the way April 16th each year brings me sadness? Can I reprogram my brain to forget this day....

The answer is, I hope not. Because although I feel such deep sadness, I also in many ways feel joy. And I wouldn't have changed my path. I would have still walked down the aisle so many year ago today just the same if I would have known then that it would end this way. Every chapter of our lives is such a journey. Although I am having to close this chapter, another will open. I also received the most precious gift from this chapter of my life... a gift that will continue to bless me for the rest of my life.

I have decided to try to remember more. Those events that change our lives so drastically... I don't want to remember to be sad, but to celebrate. Celebrate the present, and all of the gifts that come with this life. Gifts that are both joyful and full of sorrow. I know if I remember, I can truly be thankful for every gift.

Beth

Is it true? Is Beth blogging?

Wow, how time flies... I have made a New Year's resolution to be more attentive to my blog. I know, I know! You are saying, some resolution that is. We all know that one post to my blog each year is the maximum.

But on the contrary I wonder if this could be my source. My outlet if you will. Life has thrown me curve balls and obstacles that I never thought I would face. Now is the time in my live when I have to decide to really live. Each day. Because I have opened my eyes and realized that my life is going by so fast.

2010 is over. Thankfully. AGB participated in another horse show.. where yet again she was the star, or at least I believe she was. My job continued to get better (as some of you know that is a great thing), my oldest sister had a baby, Sara. I affectionately try to call her Sara Elizabeth, but get yelled at :), and Anna Grace turned 4... YES 4 years old! One of the most unbelievable events that happened in 2010, among a few others.

I also spent my entire summer at home with AGB... something I have never had the opportunity to do before. It was a complete blast. We swam, camped, played, napped, and annoyed Goddy on a daily basis. I am so thankful to have a job now where I can spend my summer with my child.

So, I am challenging you all as well. Keep asking me when my next post will occur. So many changes are happening in my life. If you don't hear from me every day.. you may miss something huge that has happened in my life.

Beth

On the road to Showing....

For those of you who don't know, our Anna-Grace began her show career at the ripe age of two and a half this past summer. Her clothes were too big, her helmet came down over her ears and pony was shaggy. But that didn't stop her from collecting that 3rd place out of 3 riders! Her delights was wonderful.................... Then in November, we took her and her pony, Bugsy Malone, to the Virginia Horse Center to compete in the SWVHJA Annual Finals. We body clipped her pony, her clothes fit, we got a new helment and gloves, and she LOOKED the part. Above you see pictures of how she blossomed into a wonderful child rider. Then it came time for the show. The most amazing part of all was when she was called out first out of the nine other riders in the ring. Bernie says he will be poor for life, but I say I can't wait for our child to live her dream :)

My Favorite: Pink and Green :)

Puppies :)

First Dinner Meal

Just Born
First Dinner Meal

For those who don't know, my parent's standard poodle had puppies four weeks ago :) Having 10 puppies was quite a challenge, but they have ALL done really well, and I am quite smitten on the runt of the litter, Pink and Green, as we call her. It is sad to know that soon they will all go on to new families, but I have been blessed to be a part of their journey so far (although my dad is the one not getting any sleep:) . If anyone knows of someone that may be interested in buying a puppy, give them my info :)

AGB in school!

It has finally begun! Anna Grace has started school. She is currently going three days a week and she loves it!!! She evens asks every weekend when she is going back to school. The first two weeks the teacher said that Anna Grace was not listening very much. However, when I dropped her off today, Ms. Tony said that Anna Grace is doing MUCH better. I am so excited about that.

Last night as Stephanie, Rob, Emma, AGB, Dad and myself were eating dinner, Anna Grace puts her hands togother and says:

"God is good, God is great, thank You for our food." And then sings "Thank you Father for our food, bless each and every day.... AMEN."

Deep Creek Lake

Bernie on the Mountain Coaster! What a blast!

Last week Bernie, AGB, and I all went on vacation with his family to Deep Creek Lake. What a blast! We stayed in a wonderful log home that was lake front. Adventures included fishing, boating, tubing, white water rafting, and riding the mountain coaster!

The first time AGB went on the mountain roller coaster, she was speechless. Then she begged every night to go! The best part was the white water rafting. Bernie, Tyler (cousin), Tommy (cousin), Meredith (Tommy's fiance) and I all went. They probably got tired of hearing me scream, but it was from joy.... We had a great time!

That is ME flying across the boat! For some reason I couldn't control my body on the boat! I fell out more than anyone else, go figure!

Safari Fun!

A few weeks ago, our good friends, Jennifer and Scott got together for a day of fun. They brought Scott's daughter, Eve, and we all went to the Endless Caverns and to the Safari Park. Here are a few pictures for your viewing pleasure.

Just the girls!

In the Caverns! We even saw bats!

THE FIRST SNOW!

SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! ~ Today, our neighbor, Lee, was kind enough to bring his 4-wheeler over and let AGB, her daddy, and myself ride on a sleigh around the front yard. Of course he went all of 2 miles per hour, but AGB thought it was the best things since sliced bread. You should have seen her face. Even Jack and Jessie got in on the action as they ran after us on the sleigh. Bernie was off today, so it was great to have the whole family at home and we got to have a fun time outside. The best part was when AGB finally figured out how to throw the snow back at her dad!