Religion has been in the forefront of battle since the beginning of time, and will be until the end of mankind. We each have our own unique relationship with God... Allah... Zeus... whomever it is that we decide is our own maker. For me, my relationship with God is in development, and I feel that as long as I am on the path with him I am heading in the right direction. This post is not to push a view on anyone... just a post of my own path with God.
"Man is neither entirely a puppet of the Gods, nor is he entirely the captain of his own destiny; he's a little of both"
It has truly come to my attention in recent months how true this statement rings. Without going into grave detail, and I make this statement with reservations, this is not the first time in my marriage that there has been a separation. I think about that a lot.... Why is it that my marriage was mended once just to fall apart again? What if the outcome would have been different 3 years ago? Where would I be in my life now? I ask God these questions frequently. The truth is though, it was a choice 3 years ago, and God knew what choices were to be made.
"We gallop through our lives like circus performers balancing on two speeding side-by-side horses - one foot is on the horse called "fate," the other on the horse called "free will."
The above mentioned brings me to a place of utter confusion. I will never point fault in my blog, and know that I have not here before. I know that no one person can interfere with an other's free will... no amount of love, no amount of trust, no amount of support, no amount of effort (or lack there of to any of the fore mentioned) can ever MAKE someone do anything. So we are stuck in a balancing act in our lives... What will be allow to be our fate and what will we make our free will?
"If faith were rational, it wouldn't be - by definition - faith. Faith is belief in what you cannot see or prove or touch. Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark. If we truly knew all the answers in advance as to the meaning of life and the nature of God and the destiny of our souls, our belief would not be a leap of faith and it would not be a courageous act of humanity; it would just be... a prudent insurance policy."
This brings me back to God. I have had many conversations with him on all of the above mentioned. What I have learned is it is okay for me at ask him "Why?," because I may just get an answer. You never expect the enormously crazy things people will say to you in an effort to comfort you in times of crisis. I don't want to hear "You're better off," or "It'll get better." I want answers. I certainly understand that those answers may not come in the form of words, but in the form of life... and what my life will have in store.
So on this day of worship... I look to God and pray for many things. He may not answer all of my prayers, but I do know He is listening.
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