What being a coach teaches ME about life.....

As an athlete growing up, I always regarded my coaches as individuals who "had it all together... had it all figured out". They always had the answers, I never saw them falter (at least not outwardly), and they carried themselves in a manner that bestowed great wisdom to those around them. When I first became a coach, this was the demeanor that I inherited, mostly to keep from being the lamb up against the slew of lions (I had a vision that my riders would eat me for lunch if I didn't play the role right). It never occured to me that someone who would take on the responsibility of teaching and conditioning an athlete to a sport, and to life really, would have any moments of "OMG HOW DO I DEAL WITH THIS?".

Today I learned that lesson... mark that check next to my "H-E-L-L-O Beth! You should have known that" list. Coaching has been something that has come so natural to me, like a fin moves on a fish. I truly am passionate about what I do, and could not imagine leaving this line of work. I can so easily step into the shoes of my riders and visually depict the challenges they face. I believe that makes me a better coach. Note that I didn't say an easier, nicer coach... just better! LOL Being able to relate to my riders on the whole helps me push them to be better, at riding and at life. It challenges me to push them beyond the barriers they have formulated in their minds that stand between them and success.

However, on a small occassion I enter a very dark gray area where I not only cannot relate to my riders, but just for the life of me cannot bring myself to understand for one moment what they are remotely thinking that is possessing them to respond to my coaching techniques in that way! WHEW!!!

That gray area crept upon me today. And I stood there, nearly frozen to the ground from realization and, well, just from the utter cold, and had this epiphany, an epiphany that has come to me before in this exact manner. It's okay for me as a coach to not always have the answer... to not always be right... to not always demand beyond the possible limitations of what the rider feels they are facing. Don't misunderstand, I am by no means cruel, but I have a hard time not challenging my riders when their response to me is "I can't".

I have always had this vision that as a coach I must be stern, and strong, and have the answers. Becoming a coach has helped me to realize looking back that maybe my coaches didn't have all of the puzzle pieces put together either. That they internally struggled with decisions, preparations, and their responses to us athletes when we faced turmoil.

Looking ahead, I hope this continues to make me an even better coach. I physically watched myself take a deep breath today and let the dark gray energy leave me. I more readily understood that I didn't have to know why these events were unraveling in front of me nor did I need to respond. But I could continue to coach, and to put it behind me. It is wonderful to know that we don't have to have the right answer, but that we can still move on..... That idea lifts a burden off of my shoulders. I will still be a great coach, just without the turmoil of thinking that I have to know it all.